Ugh. Help me understand this.
Jul. 5th, 2019 09:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
freixenetOr maybe just listen to me rant about it? I dunno. Whichever suits you.
So we're house hunting, and we've set an upper limit on the price and established some essentials that are not negotiable. (Things like the right size kitchen, a pool, a 3 car garage for the hot rods to live in.) Those are things we came to agreement on easily. Then we started looking, and now, within the last week, he's been looking at homes that are well above our max price. I am pushing back because I am not interested in going above our agreed upon ceiling and I'm not changing my mind on this. This has had no effect on his interest in going to see the house.
So now he shows me a house that he really "likes the look of." It is substantially over our ceiling. And it has only a two car garage. Both of these we agreed would be deal breakers. But he wants to go look at it. I asked why and he said he likes the look of it. Well, that doesn't explain much now, does it. I actually don't like the look of it, because it's one of those golf course houses with a ton of lawn, no fences, and a whole lot of wall to wall carpeting. Which I hate.
Adding to my discomfort and anxiety is that the only time we can go see this house is tonight, at 530, after the owners have had a chance to get home from work and remove their pets (you can see two little doxies in one of the photos--so sweet!). So at 530 on a Friday evening, we're rousting these people out and costing our realtor her holiday weekend afternoon (and frankly ours, since it's date night), to roam around their house and then not put in an offer on it. This seems rude to me. He doesn't see it that way.
This situation is causing some conflict. His instinct is always to go bigger and better. Hell, just replacing the roof on THIS house turned into remodeling the back patio, the front patio, and the roof pitch. The price he initially told me? Yeah, the contract we signed is literally five times that price. Every single big thing we do, he feels compelled to make it even bigger. I do not like making things bigger. I like making things SMALLER.
And I am not at all sure how to negotiate this. I hate being in conflict with him and I feel like we've been tense with each other for weeks now. I don't feel like I'm a partner in this set of decisions, because things we agreed on are just going out the window when he feels like it. I don't feel like I can do that myself. It's like we agreed on things that represent the absolute minimum for him and the absolute maximum for me, and that's hard to make changes on.
Sigh. Starting to question.
So we're house hunting, and we've set an upper limit on the price and established some essentials that are not negotiable. (Things like the right size kitchen, a pool, a 3 car garage for the hot rods to live in.) Those are things we came to agreement on easily. Then we started looking, and now, within the last week, he's been looking at homes that are well above our max price. I am pushing back because I am not interested in going above our agreed upon ceiling and I'm not changing my mind on this. This has had no effect on his interest in going to see the house.
So now he shows me a house that he really "likes the look of." It is substantially over our ceiling. And it has only a two car garage. Both of these we agreed would be deal breakers. But he wants to go look at it. I asked why and he said he likes the look of it. Well, that doesn't explain much now, does it. I actually don't like the look of it, because it's one of those golf course houses with a ton of lawn, no fences, and a whole lot of wall to wall carpeting. Which I hate.
Adding to my discomfort and anxiety is that the only time we can go see this house is tonight, at 530, after the owners have had a chance to get home from work and remove their pets (you can see two little doxies in one of the photos--so sweet!). So at 530 on a Friday evening, we're rousting these people out and costing our realtor her holiday weekend afternoon (and frankly ours, since it's date night), to roam around their house and then not put in an offer on it. This seems rude to me. He doesn't see it that way.
This situation is causing some conflict. His instinct is always to go bigger and better. Hell, just replacing the roof on THIS house turned into remodeling the back patio, the front patio, and the roof pitch. The price he initially told me? Yeah, the contract we signed is literally five times that price. Every single big thing we do, he feels compelled to make it even bigger. I do not like making things bigger. I like making things SMALLER.
And I am not at all sure how to negotiate this. I hate being in conflict with him and I feel like we've been tense with each other for weeks now. I don't feel like I'm a partner in this set of decisions, because things we agreed on are just going out the window when he feels like it. I don't feel like I can do that myself. It's like we agreed on things that represent the absolute minimum for him and the absolute maximum for me, and that's hard to make changes on.
Sigh. Starting to question.
