((Hugs)) Well, you are in the right here — risking your financial future is not wise in America. Hell, Social Security is due to run out right about retirement age for us. Things are going to continue to get worse for people who aren’t wealthy. I’d be really anxious too, you’re not crazy. Also, in a marriage nobody should be making unilateral financial decisions — insisting on signing that contract was out of order for him. You can’t agree on something and then pull the rug out from under your spouse like that.
House hunting can be tough on marriages. Greg and I fought about how much to spend on renovations, but in the end we had to be basically on the same page. Our fight was generally over his OCD about saving money and the way his insistance on doing everything the cheapest way possible created a lot of unnecessary stress. Generally it was over relatively small differences in price though. I gave in on some things because it’s not worth it — sometimes you do that, and I think he does it with me — but we’re always basically in agreement when major decisions are made. Deciding that you’re going to do something risky that your spouse absolutely does not want is out of order.
I don’t know exactly what advice to give, I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re right to be upset. This isn’t a good sign — but fights over money are common. They can be resolved, but one person giving in all the time isn’t exactly egalitarian. Maybe the thing to do is figure out what makes him want to spend money all the time. Understanding the roots of G’s shit helps me deal with him. ((Hugs)) to you.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2019-07-06 11:15 pm (UTC)House hunting can be tough on marriages. Greg and I fought about how much to spend on renovations, but in the end we had to be basically on the same page. Our fight was generally over his OCD about saving money and the way his insistance on doing everything the cheapest way possible created a lot of unnecessary stress. Generally it was over relatively small differences in price though. I gave in on some things because it’s not worth it — sometimes you do that, and I think he does it with me — but we’re always basically in agreement when major decisions are made. Deciding that you’re going to do something risky that your spouse absolutely does not want is out of order.
I don’t know exactly what advice to give, I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re right to be upset. This isn’t a good sign — but fights over money are common. They can be resolved, but one person giving in all the time isn’t exactly egalitarian. Maybe the thing to do is figure out what makes him want to spend money all the time. Understanding the roots of G’s shit helps me deal with him. ((Hugs)) to you.