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freixenetI'm really feeling perspective this year about what I am thankful for. Watching my friend Tim go through this experience--living in a mission with about 80 other homeless men, with all the resultant degradation of the human spirit and the depression that comes from having nothing of your own except what's in a crappy old suitcase someone donated to the mission--has sharply reminded me of my various securities.
I am food secure. I have no need to worry about the quality, amount, cost, or nutritional value of anything I eat or drink. I have plenty of everything I need, and I'm growing plenty of my own. I have stable access to clean, local, organic food, and I am equipped to prepare it in ways that are both delicious and healthy. My family is food secure. My animals are food secure. I have enough to help others.
I am financially secure. Barring total disaster, I will never have to live in a group home to afford a roof over my head. I can easily pay my bills, invest for my future, and save for immediate and long term needs. I have health insurance that is generous. I am employed both gainfully and enjoyably, and I can spend money on entertainment, treats, and special desires without taking it away from something else that's more important. I can give generously of what I have. I have enough to help others.
I am physically secure. My person is safe. My body is healthy. I live in a safe neighborhood. I am not at risk of assault, violence, abuse. I can sleep without worrying that my possessions are being stolen or that my space is being invaded. I can walk freely and safely in public. I have excellent health insurance and it includes dental. I have the luxury of knowing that my space is, for the most part, mine. I am able to help others with their physical goals.
I am emotionally secure. I can live my life without worrying about whether someone else's decisions will affect me. I have a healthy self esteem and a practice to keep it that way. I am balanced, stable, and introspective. My autonomy is not in question. My emotional independence is not in question. I can balance friends, family, crises, and pleasures without one overwhelming the other in my head or my heart. I love and I am loved. I argue fairly and I'd rather do that than either scream or be silent. I'm keenly aware of when my emotions are at risk and I know without question that my emotional responses to things are completely under my control. I don't blame, shame, or browbeat. I listen when someone tells me I'm wrong, and I don't freak out and deny.
I'm not entirely sure my friend Tim has had any of these securities for probably 10 years. When they admitted him to the hospital, the self-harm was only one of the things he was admitted for. The others included a really serious range of nutritional and physical issues that are all a result of food insecurity, which is really about financial insecurity. No proper dental care, for example, meant that ultimately all but two or three of his teeth have had to be pulled; his dentures have never fit properly and give him awful headaches, not to mention difficulty eating anything but very soft foods (mashed potatoes, Jell-O, liquids, breads). Imagine that as a steady diet. I can't. He is not and never has been emotionally secure, so his entire life has revolved around anxiety about the decisions of others and their potential to destroy what stability he has. He has been physically assaulted on numerous occasions--sometimes for being gay in the wrong place, sometimes by a partner. His is not a life of privilege. Mine is.
I am very thankful.
I am food secure. I have no need to worry about the quality, amount, cost, or nutritional value of anything I eat or drink. I have plenty of everything I need, and I'm growing plenty of my own. I have stable access to clean, local, organic food, and I am equipped to prepare it in ways that are both delicious and healthy. My family is food secure. My animals are food secure. I have enough to help others.
I am financially secure. Barring total disaster, I will never have to live in a group home to afford a roof over my head. I can easily pay my bills, invest for my future, and save for immediate and long term needs. I have health insurance that is generous. I am employed both gainfully and enjoyably, and I can spend money on entertainment, treats, and special desires without taking it away from something else that's more important. I can give generously of what I have. I have enough to help others.
I am physically secure. My person is safe. My body is healthy. I live in a safe neighborhood. I am not at risk of assault, violence, abuse. I can sleep without worrying that my possessions are being stolen or that my space is being invaded. I can walk freely and safely in public. I have excellent health insurance and it includes dental. I have the luxury of knowing that my space is, for the most part, mine. I am able to help others with their physical goals.
I am emotionally secure. I can live my life without worrying about whether someone else's decisions will affect me. I have a healthy self esteem and a practice to keep it that way. I am balanced, stable, and introspective. My autonomy is not in question. My emotional independence is not in question. I can balance friends, family, crises, and pleasures without one overwhelming the other in my head or my heart. I love and I am loved. I argue fairly and I'd rather do that than either scream or be silent. I'm keenly aware of when my emotions are at risk and I know without question that my emotional responses to things are completely under my control. I don't blame, shame, or browbeat. I listen when someone tells me I'm wrong, and I don't freak out and deny.
I'm not entirely sure my friend Tim has had any of these securities for probably 10 years. When they admitted him to the hospital, the self-harm was only one of the things he was admitted for. The others included a really serious range of nutritional and physical issues that are all a result of food insecurity, which is really about financial insecurity. No proper dental care, for example, meant that ultimately all but two or three of his teeth have had to be pulled; his dentures have never fit properly and give him awful headaches, not to mention difficulty eating anything but very soft foods (mashed potatoes, Jell-O, liquids, breads). Imagine that as a steady diet. I can't. He is not and never has been emotionally secure, so his entire life has revolved around anxiety about the decisions of others and their potential to destroy what stability he has. He has been physically assaulted on numerous occasions--sometimes for being gay in the wrong place, sometimes by a partner. His is not a life of privilege. Mine is.
I am very thankful.
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Date: 2017-11-25 11:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-11-25 03:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-11-27 05:59 pm (UTC)